The Future.

Retirement luncheon at work today - it was touching to me, in a way that I didn't expect it to be, but I sat there listening to everyone talking about the achievements of basically several lifetimes of education and it made me wonder - what will people say about me when I retire? What would I say about some of my fellow teachers when they retired? It was quite a heart-wrenching moment. Some of these people have poured so much of their soul, their existence, into helping children that no one else would help - some of whom deserved it, some of whom did not. Do me a favor and take a second out of your day to think about the time in the future when you will step back and let others look at your life work - what will it be? Where will your energy have gone? How will your time have been spent? Tell me that isn't a complete head rush.

Then I realized that I am never going to retire as a teacher. Because Saturday I articulated for myself a new goal in life - I want to own an Oscar and a Grammy. Grammy first, Oscar second. I want the Oscar to be for Best Director, or for one of my films to win Best Picture - I know that's stretching. But best cinematography or best original screenplay would be alright, too. I already know the two films that would have a chance of being nominated, in back to back years I hope, it's just a matter of shooting them.

I suppose I should make clear my life plan. After somewhere between 10 and 30 years of teaching (leaving me somewhere between 33 and 53 years old) I intend to quit and become a Rock Star. For Jesus. I want to play bass in a unique, novel, and influential Christian rock band. This is a tricky proposition because it appears all too easy for Christian music to be totally lame - to think that the "Christian" justifies the "music", in other words to think that you don't have to be talented as long as you talk about Jesus. My thing is, I intend to make the music glorifying to God by using the talents He has given me, by refining them along with my fellow musicians, and making it something that the world will sit up and take notice. And on top of that vehicle we will carry a powerful, unapologetic gospel message. And dare the record stores of the world to relegate us to the "Christian" rack. P.O.D., Chevelle, and Switchfoot have all done this. Some would claim that Creed and U2 are Christian bands, and they're close but not exactly what I'm thinking of. Either way, this is the kind of rock star I want to be. I pray that God will bless my efforts to improve my bass playing, and improve my humility - it will be so easy for me to do this for my own glory, that I'm not even sure it will be a successful venture, or whether I will have the boldness to actually go through with it down the road. But it's a dream, and I am not afraid to have dreams.

After I get to be an old rocker, I intend to put that aside and start my filmmaking career somewhere on the far side of 60. I want to be an old and respected filmmaker, although I'm sure to actually do that I would have to start out as a young and disrespected filmmaker first...perhaps we can circumvent that. Perhaps I will have to choose either filmmaking or music making, either an Oscar or a Grammy. I don't set those goals because I want to be famous, but because I want to hold myself to a standard of excellence so that whether I am bringing a Christian message through music or film, it will have a great impact and be glorifying to God.

Maybe these are just pipe dreams. A year ago I believed that I could make a lifetime career out of serving God as a teacher, and I still believe that is possible. If these dreams don't work out, I am still working a fantastic job that I will never really want to leave. This is my dream job right now. I need no advancement, I need no additional benefits, I only need nurturing, recognition, and correction. Support, guidance, and compliments. I trust God that my salary will bring me the things I need to have, the things He wants me to have, so I won't say that I don't need money, but I don't need any more money than this job brings. And maybe I will retire 40 years from now and people can dab tissues at their blurry eyes and say all kinds of touching things about me.

But rock stars get all the chicks.

GO PISTONS!
I'm out.