Only happens this time of the morning

Almost every morning, when I wake up, I feel guilty. I feel like a failure. I have to pray to God just to get out of the thick fog of depression so I can get out of bed and get in the shower. Then sometimes in the shower it's so warm and secure that I don't ever want to get out.

There's a lot of history in this - history from the time when I was student teaching during my last semester at college in Pennsylvania. My cooperating teacher taught me a lot and I improved my teaching a lot, but he very rarely praised the things I was doing right - he only focused on the things where I needed to improve. I didn't realize it, but this made it emotionally very hard for me to go to school in the morning. Not only that, but I was habitually late to bed. So when I would wake up feeling not-totally-rested, I would remember it was because I had failed to keep my scheduled bedtime. Which made me feel like a slacker/procrastinator. Which I am, but this just reminded me of it.

So now when I wake up, at the same time of morning, to go to school, all those old feelings flood back on me. I think about all the things that I haven't done yet...the grading I wanted to do last night that didn't happen, the scrambling I'm going to have to do to get the fundraiser table ready, the fact that yet again I've only gotten six hours of sleep, and I haven't even made myself a lunch yet.

God is a God who gives us each day our daily bread. I have to believe that it is His will that I did not finish my work yet, and His will that I see clearly how weak I am on my own so that I will fully rely on Him for what needs to get done this day. I am taking the time to write this post now while the feelings are still fresh in my mind so that all might give the greater glory to God for what He does for me. Every morning.

Once again

I step in to save your weekend:

Doom - A video game movie? starring the Rock? No self-respecting movie critic would recommend this movie to you. I think you should go see this movie. Actually Doom fans will find lots of things wrong with it and movie fans will not trade quality cinema for the nods to a cult video game franchise. This is what always happens with video game movies. They are worse than comic book movies. In fact the only thing worse than a video game movie is a movie video game. There has only ever been one video game based on a movie that was worth anything other than total CRAP and that was the original Batman for the NES 8-bit system. Old school or no school. But back to why I think this movie might be worth seeing - the first person perspective sections combined with intense non-stop fright sights will bring a fear level not felt in sci-fi since Alien. Which also used first person sequences to heighten its tension. But Doom will do that lots more. I am just interested to see if that is good enough to be worth the schlock that's sure to fill the rest of the movie.

Where the Truth Lies - I discussed this one last week, but that was just a limited opening, so now it is actually open. So now you should act upon whatever decision you came to after last week's recommendation

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang - Robert Downey, Jr. and Val Kilmer in a funny twist concept. Gonna be a hot one, folks. Not the kind they talk about at the water cooler tomorrow, but the kind you will be among an elite group of people who watch good movies if you watch this good movie. Not recommended for children under 18.

Shopgirl - I'm at a loss about this one, but mostly I trust Steve Martin. It could end up being like Punch Drunk Love or something where it's totally weird and inaccessible. But at least you can feel like an elitist for watching it.

Stay - dark and disturbing but in a real way, not a fantastical way - which makes it more upsetting and more powerful. Same director as Finding Neverland. Do with that what you will, I'm going to be too busy watching Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

There's your weekend setup, folks! Enjoy!

If life were like the movies

Top 5 worst places to be, defined physical location:

1. Sub-level 3 of the atmospheric processing station of the colony on LV-426 (Aliens)
2. The Mines of Moria (Lord of the Rings)
3. Tatooine (Star Wars)
4. Troy (Troy)
5. New York City (any action movie without a good reason to take place somewhere else)

Top 5 worst places to be, undefined physical location:

1. Anywhere near the One Ring of Mordor (Lord of the Rings trilogy)
2. On any major vessel, ship, battle station, or outpost of the Galactic Empire, anytime after Luke Skywalker's 18th birthday (Star Wars)
3. The Matrix (The Matrix)
4.
5.

Top 5 worst jobs:

1. Ring-bearer (Lord of the Rings Trilogy)
2. Member of Ellen Ripley's crew (Alien Quadrilogy)
3. Sheriff of Nottingham
4.
5.

Help me finish these lists, then I'll post some more later!

I have a 10-year-old brother

This is a good thing because he is a member of the LEGO Club. If it weren't for him, I'd have to join myself and that's an expense I can't afford right now ;) But I do love reading the catalogs. This most recent one excites me quite a bit because, in with the Bionicles and Harry Potter and the ever-evolving quirky business they come out with, I see some genuine old-school sets. And some new sets with a very "retro" feel to them. In fact, there's even an order form in the middle for ordering individual brick types in mass quantities. Old school indeed. Pure imagination, or recreation of simple every day objects. Thus is the imagination honed and sharpened without being overwhelmed. When one is building models of items that were created by someone else's imagination, and that habit an entirely other world, it is all too easy to let the imagination get caught up in the immense storytelling possibilities of the alternate universe. This is a great benefit and seems to be the focus of most recent LEGO sets. However, it does not hone the building creativity and design potential of the individual in the way that these sets used to do. It appears that they are still offering many of these old-fashioned, Earth-reality sets.

Also they have a scale model of the Death Star II. The work that goes into designing a LEGO set that is not a recreation of a finished project, but of an unfinished work-in-progress, girders protruding seemingly at random into Lucas' star-filled space...this is a mental feat of genius for which I must thank the people at LEGO.

AND they have a feature on their website where you can design your own set, brick by brick, and then have them actually build the set, package it, and ship it to your door to build in real life. It is a breakthrough of immense implications. If LEGO, after years of languishing in shallow, formulaic, consumer-driven entertainment has returned to its roots and then built mighty edifices of new product upon that old foundation, what other establishments of pop culture might follow similar trends? Television? Radio? Movies? Coffee shops? Rock 'n' Roll? Politics? Economics? Gas Prices?

Seriously, a look at the path of the LEGO mindset over the past twenty years parallels that of our culture as a whole over a slightly longer period. If the LEGO cycle doesn't match our culture's cycle perfectly, then I would say that is proof of the fact that all life follows cycles at least, whether they are the same cycle or not. And so our pop culture will cycle back where it belongs, passing through a narrow band of acceptability before plunging out of view like Halley's comet. If we are blessed like Mark Twain to see it twice in our lives, we should thank God and tell our kids.

Public Service Announcement

Friday is the day that new movies arrive in theaters. Somewhere between a crystal ball and a magic 8-ball lie the following predictions:

Elizabethtown: I am automatically biased against all romantic comedies. It's the Y-chromosome talking, people. But in concept, the parallels to Garden State are jumping up and down in the front of my head, so it might be quirky enough to be unique and non-formulaic. But even if it's as good as Garden State, you could just go watch Garden State. I guess it depends on which actors you prefer. I tend to think that you saw the best of Orlando Bloom's romantic acting in Troy, where it was weak, pathetic, and the low point of a movie with many strong points but many more low points. And Kirsten Dunst is...special. But she's no Natalie Portman. I won't bother with this one, but I won't yell at you if you do.

Domino: Keira Knightley moves from strong female part to stronger female part (Pirates of the Carribean, King Arthur) and now to barely restrained tomman (like a tomboy but grown up). In fact, the real life bounty hunter that her character is named after is a militant lesbian who is pissed that they made her straight for the movie. But anyhow - lots of guns and a visual style that will make this one just unsettling enough to keep the bang-bang from getting bor-ing. Let's see if Keira hangs onto the edge of modesty here like she has in her other films (petticoats and rope warrior outfits, woohoo.)

Where the Truth Lies: I love a good mystery, and I like to see Kevin Bacon playing a creepy bad guy. What I don't like is all the sex that this mystery seems to revolve around Kevin Bacon having with Alison Lohman. I will avoid it. Ladies and married couples and such, feel free, I guess. It actually looks like, plot wise, it will be intense.

Good Night, and Good Luck: George Clooney writes, directs, and stars - the last time he did this was Confessions of a Dangerous Mind which was wonderfully twisted and put some great actors into some great uncommon roles. The subject matter seems old-school BORING but I bet it will be thrilling and climactic and powerful. One to see.

The Fog: Are there any movies so formulaic as horror movies and romantic comedies? It makes me worry that, since people continue to flock to these movies like sheep to a lyre, maybe my favorite movies are formulaic and overdone and predictable and obnoxious as well. I sure hope that's not possible. I will never recommend a horror movie for viewing, but apparently I'm not qualified to judge since I've never seen one. If you are a fan of horror movies, and you see the preview for this one and think it looks like a high-quality horror film instead of a low-quality one, then you should probably go see it. I bet you will like, totally pee your pants right at the end.

that's all folks! Same time next week!

Hoagies and Grinders

Terry Pratchett is my new author del fascinate

The Godfather Trilogy has been in and out of my DVD player

Musical soundtrack supplied by 98.9 Liberty - Anything popular from the last 40 years on shuffle, no DJs, no commercials. Best 3-song combo: Charlie Daniel's Band/Devil Went Down to Georgia followed by Green Day/When I Come Around followed by Kool and the Gang/Jungle Boogie.

I made a DVD the other day - using footage of one my classes. They designed and built miniature cars, I put eggs inside them and rolled them into a wall. We used the footage to analyze the speed of the cars, and the time elapsed during the crash - to measure the effectiveness of their safety features. Then I used this awesome program to put it all together into a totally professional looking DVD. If only everyone knew how simple it was.

I have to go and buy a bunch more supplies for them now - they are designing coin sorters. These kids are geniuses.

Speaking of which, I was looking at a list of Nobel Prize winners in Physics, and Stephen Hawking and William Schroedinger were quite absent. I was puzzled.

The story below lacks completion. This is not my fault.