Once upon a time

Only one movie worth reviewing this week folks, and it's Nanny McPhee. Yes that's Emma Thompson under all that ugly makeup, and it's her under all the beauty of this movie, too, because she put nine years of her heart, soul, blood, sweat, and tears into making sure this movie was just right for you and your family, so please go see it. Because my girlfriend says so.

Second time's the charm

For a synopsis of my weekend, check out my girlfriend's blog post here.

It pretty much covers everything I did, because we weren't apart for very long at all unless we were sleeping, changing clothes, or going to the bathroom.

For my part, I thoroughly enjoyed all the driving around we did in between activities, because I got to show off my hometown and I got to spend all kinds of time cuddling in the car. But Cake is right when they sing "Stickshifts and safety belts, bucket seats have all got to go - when I'm driving in my car, they make my baby seem so far - I need you here with me, not way over in a bucket seat!"

I also thoroughly enjoyed the absolutely magical night that we had at Pasta Luna - I had never done the full-on fine-dining night on the town before, so some things were new to me, but I really appreciated the extra time between courses, the serving of a bottle of fine wine, and the incredible desserts. The wait staff was clearly in tune with the fact that we were on a romantic evening and treated us in keeping with traditional practice for that sort of an occasion. The only thing missing was an old italian man playing violin.

I also didn't at all mind getting my butt kicked at ski-ball and SceneIT? even though I'm the movie trivia master. But I tell you what there couldn't have been a more charming and pleasing companion for my weekend.

I need to start having her down more often because the things we do on dates are showing me a new side of Richmond: the night life! I've never been that much of a clubbing or partying kind of guy but I thoroughly loved taking her out to dinner and to Bogart's Back Room that night. It was way cooler than a movie (and cheaper, as a matter of fact! I mean the Back Room was). So I learned about a new side of my town through having her involved in the evening, and I want to explore all the other options. This is such a great city.

Don't believe me? www.richmond.com

Does your city even have a website like that? I don't think so. Richmond > all.

Except girlfriend. Girlfriend > Richmond > everything

PITTSBURGH STEELERS SUPERBOWL XL BABY.

Never trust a bunny

Unless they have green eyes...

Movies for your weekend!

Underworld Evolution: Sometimes my love of action movies, comic book movies, kung fu movies, or other emotional attachment makes me enjoy a movie even when it's not a good movie. This might have been the case with the first Underworld movie, I really can't be sure. I used to own it on DVD but then I gave it away, so I can't go back and evaluate it really well. But it was a blast of a time. Not terribly thorough about being true to whatever truth there is in vampire and werewolf myths, but they do create quite a striking universe in which to place their action. If you liked the first one, the second will be even better. If you thought the first one was total tripe, you'll probably say the same thing about this one. I'm gonna see it, that's for darn sure.

The New World: FINALLY. I've been seeing previews for this movie since...I dunno, April of last year? Who knows. I just know that forever I've been seeing this preview and waiting for the latest guilt-ridden "Native American" glorifying, white-man-bashing retelling of Virginia's early history to flash across our screens and make everyone think it's a "more sensitive portrayal - really explores the issues from their point of view" blah blah blah. Look I'm sure we did mistreat the aboriginal american tribes when we landed here. But I'm SO SICK of seeing movies that punish us for it again and again. I think Disney's Pocahontas spoiled it for me, so maybe I should go see this one cause it might redeem the whole idea. But I'm pretty sure it's just gonna make me mad.

Transamerica: This movie makes a big focus out of an issue guaranteed to make a lot of people feel uncomfortable and apply to very few of them. No one should hate transsexuals or reject their lifestyle as unimportant, but no one should pretend that it's so relevant they want to see this movie and feel like a social Good Samaritan for doing it. If you're interested in what life is like for someone in this country who lives this lifestyle, go see it. Otherwise, count me out.

Why We Fight: America is bad and too militaristic and it's been going on for years and all we want to do is conquer the whole world or at least have the most powerful army. If you agree with this statement you will agree with this movie. If you disagree, you will be powerfully presented an opposing viewpoint by this movie. Which is often a good thing. If you're into thinking deeply about global issues this movie will give you ample opportunity to do just that.

Sorry, I was BUSY!

Woke up at 5:00 Friday and spent the whole morning packing and then drove to work. Left straight from work and drove to Connecticut. Arrived at 1:00 am. Friday officially over. Also no computer access and a wedding in 10 hours. Needed sleep. So yeah I didn't preview Friday's movies for you. Let's see what you could've gone to see...

Tristan and Isolde - mixed feelings about this one just because I almost never like the way movies handle romance, however Ridley Scott is good stuff for action so the fight sequences oughta be awesome and I think the legendary medievalness of it all should lend some magic to the romance. Not gonna pay for it but I'll probably wish I had and get it on my Netflix queue

Glory Road - I don't watch sports movies unless I watch them with my dad, but when I do I'm always glad I did - this will be no exception. The basketball will be great (if a little too athletic for the time period?) and the story will be heartwarming. Also the humor that is unavoidable in these sort of things.

Last Holiday - guess what you've seen all the funny parts. Thinking she's at the end of her life this lady is going to do all these uninhibited things so she does some extreme sports, falls in love, eats weird food, spends all her money, blah blah blah blah blah. Same joke we've seen before, and it's gonna get repetitive in this movie, too. And twenty bucks says she doesn't even really die at the end. Oh sorry, did I spoil that for you? My bad. But then, if you couldn't see that coming, you've never watched a movie before, so what did I really ruin for you anyway?

Hoodwinked - these kids movies keep getting better and better for the non-kids out there. When they started making them CG, I think the humor and story lines bumped up a notch, too - contrary to what other critics will say, that special effects are worthless and add nothing to a story, it may just be the case that the two are related in some way. Anyhow this looks like it's going to be HILARIOUS. Just two scenes from the trailer and they always kill me - my girlfriend and I are talking on the phone during my drive back yesterday and all I said was "Dee-nah-mee-tay!" and we both just died laughing. It was funnier than Champ Bailey getting whiplash on the 1 yard-line Saturday night. Ok go watch some football, you'll like it I promise.

Have a nice day folks, I'm off to watch anime!

My head is defying the laws of Physics

How can my skull remain Chock Full O' Snot (tm) but there is still so much mucus draining down my throat? Production lines must be working overtime. I think the Henry Ford of colds has moved into my head and setup an assembly line. Well he is abusing the resources of the community for his own seedy profits and I won't have it. Therefore I propose to spend the day in bed reading and watching anime until he leaves town.

Drove up to a wedding this weekend - killer drive because I was sick, but viewed a good chunk of six different states - VA, MD, DE, NJ, NY, and CT before checking into the hotel at 1:00 am. Ten and a half hours after I left school on Friday - too many stops along the way for nappy-naps. The drive back was much better - daylight, left the hotel at noon and got home at 7:15 - much less fog so I could actually SEE New York City as I crossed the GWB. Over $25 in tolls for the whole trip...I hope Eric and Sarah appreciate that!

I Caught the Garter, too! Certain of you will now have certain things to say that I will endure with good-natured embarassment, so go ahead...that's what the comments are for!

Feeling better already! Have a great day everyone!

Physicists always lose snowball fights

The world gets a kick out of how useless engineers and physicists and other smart people are in every-day situations while totally forgetting how many times more worthless they would all be in crucial situations. Would you like a car? A mechanic cannot build one. Would you like a skyscraper? A construction worker cannot design one that would be safe or sturdy. Would you like a computer? You're gonna have to ask a geek. I'm so sick and tired of people talking about "yeah he's smart but he lacks common sense" as if that totally negates the value of a man's intelligence.

None of the above keeps me from laughing at myself through the means of the comic you will find here. And yes all the physics is correct, I checked it.

Additionally, I will not resist telling you that yesterday was the 1 month anniversary of "the start of a beautiful relationship." 744 hours if you want to be precise. I called her and asked her again if she wanted to be my girlfriend. She said yes again. Life is good.

And for all you hecklers out there, I say this: "He scoffs at scars that never felt a wound"

That's Shakespeare. You don't argue with Shakespeare.

Your weekend at a glance

Quickly then, we have much ground to cover:

Bloodrayne: look, video game movies will never be good. This really sucks cause I love video games and I wish someone would make a good movie out of one, but it will never happen. Comic book movies are much more likely. The point is, don't bother with this one unless you have an affinity for the game that makes you want to see it purely for the sake of your fandom. If you think it will be good because you think the game is good, you are wrong. If you think the game is so good that it justifies even the crappiest movie, go see it. But then if you think that, you don't need me to tell you.

Munich - I already said this would be wonderfully cathartic for many people and I still do. I guess it wasn't a nationwide release when I reviewed it before, but now it is, or something. Still go see it, but don't take the kids!

Hostel - a movie so terribly violent that Quentin Tarantino (Kill Bill, Pulp Fiction, Resevoir Dogs) paid money to make sure it was shown in this country. Here are things QT has put in his own movies: people buried alive, people witnessing their parents gruesome deaths, people having ears sliced off, people receiving adrenaline shots to the heart to cure a cocaine-induced seizure, people doing very graphic things that it would be wrong for me to describe to you. Now he is a big fan of a movie that is centered around the torture of people. No reason to put yourself through this one. Not that I don't respect QT as a filmmaker a great deal and I've actually enjoyed his movies despite the disturbing scenes I mentioned. But this isn't one of his films.

Grandma's Boy - looks like another comedy that works because it pushes small oddities of dork reality in our face, like Napoleon Dynamite, while reaping big comic rewards from classic subjects: old women, video game nerds, and potheads. My brother wants to see this one, but then, you know how he is...

no he doesn't smoke pot.

The Matador: Ok this one snuck under my radar so you're getting a really raw impression here, but...ok yeah wow nice loved the trailer. Pierce Brosnan with that James Bond wit that he doesn't get to use anymore, well now he gets to use it again. Um assassin meets businessman whose life sucks and helps him get a job then the assassin gets in bad with his bosses so they want to kill him so he goes to the business man for help and then has to fit into the businessman's normal life and so it's funny stuff. I guess. I'll probably watch it.

Ok that's all for now folks, now get off your duffs and go WATCH A MOVIE!!

Christmas continued

I always love giving gifts, trying to find just the right thing to make people freak out with happiness on the day of. This year I did some well and some not-so-well. Here's a re-cap;

For my girlfriend:
A book - Shinsengumi - about the end of the Samurai era of Japan, the historical context for one of our favorite movies, The Last Samurai. Also a simple silver necklace with a heart pendant.

For my dad: an electric sander that he just absolutely loves - he is like finding things to sand with it just so he can use it. He loves the random orbital motion that sands powerfully without leaving scratch marks because it doesn't go in just one direction.

For my mom: O Brother, Where Art Thou? soundtrack - not exactly on her list, but inspired by something on her list (she wanted a compilation of hymns to sing along to, and got two of those from other people, so I branched off and made her happy)

For my brothers: for Ben, a documentary on the first 5 years of SNL, and for Josh a 22-track CD of Elvis performing live at Madison Square Gardens (I'm trying to organize his musical education, you see).

For my Sister's family: Burl & Ive's Rudolph movie on DVD (one of Luke's favorites) - includes a claymation performance of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" by the inimitable Destiny's Child...

For my grandparents: Ordered from amazon.com (with gift wrap!) Spike Jonez' greatest hits on CD - a blast from the past for them matched only by the Turntable/CD player combo my granny gave my grandaddy.

For my mom's sister's family: Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events on DVD

For my mom's brother's family: hands-free headsets for the two children's cell phones, and a toy cell phone for their baby sister (these actually haven't been bought yet but will be tomorrow).

That's about it!

What was your favorite gift to give this year?

I'm NOT going to say it

I do my best on this blog to avoid cliches. I try not to say "I'm sorry I haven't written in so long, but..." So you can bet that you're not going to hear the expected traditional holiday greeting out of me. Let's recap, in true Christmas spirit, the gifts that I got this year!

1) Double-thick stocking cap, assorted candy, and "Essential Bass Technique" book - in stocking
2) 1 CD of my brother's performances par excellence this year at school - from my brother
3) Two shirts - Napoleon Dynamite tee and long-sleeved polo - from my Sister's family
4) 4-pack of Starbucks Frappucinos, minus one bottle, plus one 12 oz. bottle of Kahlúa - from my mom's sister's family
5) Pair of Thinsulate-lined black leather gloves, XL - from my mom's parents
6) Soft foam football, small, half purple, half yellow - from my other brother
7) Napoleon Dynamite "dance moves" learning set - from my parents
8) "Slam Dunk Set" new basketball pole - from my parents
9) Radio Alarm Clock with Nature Sounds and AutoSet - from my dad's mother
10) CD album "Fashion Nugget" by Cake - from my mom's brother's family
11) CD/DVD "Greatest Hits, Greatest Videos" by Red Hot Chili Peppers - from my mom's brother's family
12) Books "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller and "The Private Lives of Albert Einstein" by Roger Highfield and Paul Carter - from my girlfriend
12) a) miles of smiles and buckets of hugs - from my girlfriend and her family!

Items in red were on my list. I love those of my family who weren't tied down by my list and thought of something creative to get me. Things I never would've thought of for myself, but was absolutely ecstatic to receive. Some of my best presents ever have fallen into this category. This year, the Kahlúa and the Napoleon Dynamite shirt are there. Also the basketball pole - we have needed one desperately for years and now we have a much cooler one than we ever had before.

Love you everyone and thanks for a great Christmas! Next post I will discuss Christmas part 2 - the gifts that I was pleased to GIVE this year!

Now I have to go get ready for a party so I can tell everyone Happy....happy that thing I'm not going to say on my blog.

Goodnight everyone!